‘Me feet’s killing me in these shoes, Dad.  You go.’

            Seamus shot up again.  ‘Let me go,’ he suggested.  ‘I’m smaller, so I can hide better.  Dad listens to me.  I don’t drink Guinness and break windows.’

            ‘No, you just tell lies,’ Maureen snapped.

            ‘I don’t tell lies.’

            ‘That’s a lie for a start,’ his mother accused him.  ‘All right, you go.  But be quick. Your gran’s gone inside for a cuppa, so make sure she doesn’t see you.  Remember, she has eyes in the back of her head.’

            Seamus needed to be a shadow.  That was it – he’d be The Shadow and write adventure books.  He opened the rear door as narrowly as possible and slipped out onto cold, uneven ground.  Members of the Mafia to the left of him, the New York City police to the right, four precincts plus two important fellows covered in braid and medals and whatnots.  He avoided crossfire by bending low next to Granddad’s van.  Light blazed from the speakeasy, but it was a hundred yards away.  The FBI would be here in minutes.  It was time to consult his assistants.

            ‘Hunter One,’ he whispered into his hand.  ‘Hunter One, maintain position.  I repeat, position to be maintained.  I’m going in at once.  Alone. God bless America.  Over and out.’

            ‘Have you seen this daft boy of yours?’  Kevin managed to contain his laughter.

            Maureen, in the van’s passenger seat, had grown used to her son and she said so.  ‘He’s on a secret mission for Sunray Major.  Sunray Major is deeper than MI5, MI6 and MI7 point three.  No one’s ever seen him.’

            ‘I’m not surprised.  Who’s Seamus talking to?’

            ‘Oh, that’ll be Hunter One.’

            ‘Who the blood and liver pills is that?’

            ‘He’ll be Captain Overlord’s assistant.’

            Kevin left some space before asking, ‘And who the hell’s Captain Overlord when he’s eaten his porridge?’

            ‘Our Seamus.  We listen to this every night, me and Tom.  It’s better than the Light Programme.  A few nights ago, he saved the whole country from a plague sent over from Germany in a box of liquorice allsorts.  Mind, he didn’t do it on his own; he had Hunter One and Sunray Major on his torch.  He uses the torch because it has a built-in walkie-talkie.’

            ‘But it hasn’t-‘  A smile broadened Kevin’s face.  ‘Bless him,’ he said softly.

            ‘He’s clever, Dad.  Underneath, I’m so proud of him I could sing, and that would empty this car park in ten seconds.  But he’s still a lying little toad.  Though lovable with it.'

            Seamus continued along his perilous route.  All around him, vehicles were peppered with bullet holes.  Scar-face and his boys were determined to reach the speakeasy, and the cops were equally determined to wipe out the Mafia.  A semi-automatic machine gun ack-acked in the background, and Captain Overlord crouched lower, since he had to stay alive until he could hand over control to federal agents. 

            ‘What are you doing here?’

            Still absorbed in the game, Seamus froze.

            ‘Seamus?’

            Ah, it was Dad.  ‘I’m coming for you, cos Mam’s shoes are killing her.  I was bending down so that Gran wouldn’t see me.'

 

 

ALSO THREE HAMILTON CLASSICS

 

The Bells of Scotland Road

 

Saturday's Child

 

Mulligan's Yard